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by dumbhuman



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 11:53:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbhuman/pseuds/dumbhuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darren and Chris Skype during tour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Tumblr in June 2013

“Sorry Dare, I had to take that call. I wouldn’t blame you if you fell asleep – oh.”

Chris’s train of thought was cut short when he noticed the sounds of a guitar coming through the tinny speakers of his computer. The voice accompanying it wasn’t the clearest, especially considering the singer had moved further from his laptop when he’d decided to pick up his guitar, but Chris would recognize it anywhere. It was the whisper in his ear, waking him gently when they both had early morning shoots. It was the murmur of “I love you” right before they kissed in the morning while making breakfast together. It was the shout of Chris’s name over and over when they were both sweaty and wrecked, pushing each other over the edge. But now the voice wasn’t full of laughter or joy; the notes were all there, but the result was haunting and sad.

 _Another summer day_  
Has come and gone away  
In Paris and Rome  
But I wanna go home

Chris’s brain was shouting at him to make it stop, to end the pain he was hearing, to make it all okay. But he was transfixed by the emotional performance coming through the grainy Skype call. The lighting wasn’t great, but he could see that Darren’s eyes were closed, that he wasn’t aware that Chris was back.

 _May be surrounded by_  
A million people I  
Still feel all alone  
I just wanna go home  
Oh, I miss you, you know

Chris’s heart ached. Darren loved touring, didn’t he? He gushed about the amazing turnout, the wonderful fans. Had he been lying? Was he really that miserable?

 _And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you_  
Each one a line or two  
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”  
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough  
My words were cold and flat  
And you deserve more than that

Okay, this part at least wasn’t true. If Chris unlocked his phone right now, his recent calls and texts could prove that. Ashley might call them codependent, but they just liked to take advantage of technology, okay? Being successful was hard.

 _Another aeroplane_  
Another sunny place  
I’m lucky, I know  
But I wanna go home  
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home  
Let me go home  
I’m just too far from where you are  
I wanna come home

Of course Darren was lucky. They both were. They were lucky to be where they are. They were lucky to be talented enough to get here in the first place. They were so, so lucky. But yeah, the luck did come with a price. Chris knew it was selfish, but he latched onto the longing in Darren’s voice. _I’m way too far from you, and it sucks_.

 _And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life_  
It’s like I just stepped outside  
When everything was going right  
And I know just why you could not  
Come along with me  
This was not your dream

They had talked about it, Chris coming with Darren. Going public. They had even toyed with the idea of him coming to a show or two, just as a friend, a colleague. But in the end they decided it wasn’t time. They were selfish. They wanted to just _be_ for as long as possible. But it hurt. It was nice to have some time to himself, to further some of his own dreams, but he’d give up the time off in a heartbeat. Expedia had beat out Twitter in his most visited sites, many nights spent seeing how difficult it would be to fly out to a show.

_But you always believed in me_

And he always will.

 _Another winter day has come_  
And gone away  
In either Paris or Rome  
And I wanna go home  
Let me go home

Darren’s exhaustion was definitely starting to come through. His voice was raw from weeks of little sleep and constant shows and appearances. Chris just wanted to engulf him and let them sleep for a year.

 _And I’m surrounded by_  
A million people I  
Still feel alone  
And let me go home  
Oh, I miss you, you know

Oh, he knew exactly what Darren meant. He didn’t want to sound cheesy, but he was always happiest with Darren. He was having fun to be sure, he loved being in Europe, but he’d much rather be sightseeing with his boyfriend. It was silly, but everywhere he went, little comments in Darren’s voice would run through his head. _Remember that episode of Doctor Who where they were here? I still can’t believe you don’t like River._ Or _Oh Christopher, how charming it is to be here at the Abbey, wouldn’t you say?_ That one was in a horrible imitation of a British accent. His overactive imagination – okay, the voices in his head – definitely helped, but they were no substitute for the real thing.

 _Let me go home_  
I’ve had my run  
Baby, I’m done  
I gotta go home  
Let me go home  
It'll all be all right  
I’ll be home tonight  
I’m coming back home

As the final chord faded  away, Darren sniffed and looked up, jumping when he saw Chris, who blinked and shifted awkwardly in his chair. He’d forgotten that Darren didn’t know he was there.

“Oh, uh, hey Chris.” Darren rubbed the back of his neck, his voice breaking a bit. Chris would’ve written off to the strain on his voice, but it was impossible not to see the tears stuck to those long eyelashes. He must have been too caught up in his own head to notice that Darren had been crying. _Shitty boyfriend alert_. He opened his mouth to say something but Darren beat him to it. “How much of that did you hear?”

Chris chuckled self-consciously. “Um, all of it? My call wasn’t as important as I thought it was.” He took a deep breath, deciding it was now or never. “Dare, is there anything you want to talk about? I mean…just…that was a little heavy.”

The exhausted look in those hazel eyes, noticeable even through a shitty webcam, intensified as Darren sighed. Part of Chris wanted to tell him not to worry about it, to just sleep and wait to talk about it in the morning, but it was squashed by the part of him that was _worried._ Darren wasn’t just tired, he was hurting. “Sweetie, you know you can tell me anything. Are you not enjoying the tour? I know it’s exhausting, but you seem to be having so much fun-“

“It’s-” It came out more as a croak than a word, making Chris wince in sympathy. Darren cleared his throat and started again. “It’s not that. It has nothing to do with that. I’m so glad I have this opportunity, I _do_ love it, it’s just…” He let the sentence fade away as he looked down, seeming even more vulnerable than when he’d poured his emotions into that song.

“Just what, love?” Chris prompted gently. Whatever it was, he’d fix it. He had to.

“Just…I miss you.” It came out as a whisper, but the way he said it, like he was almost ashamed, made Chris’s heart break.

“Oh honey, I miss you too. So, so much. You know that!” God, what he’d do to be able to hold him in his arms right now. They were in the same fucking continent and they still couldn’t cross paths. It was maddening.

“I know you do, and I don’t want to whine, it’s just…” Darren sniffed again, obviously trying to hold back tears. “It’s so hard, y’know? We’re so busy as it is, and we finally get a break from shooting, and I left you in an empty house so I could go play a bunch of shows and…” Chris saw him break, saw the moment something inside of him snapped and the tears rushed out. “God, I’m sorry. I’m just so exhausted and we were supposed to Skype tonight because we had this tiny window of time and I fucked it all up and-”

“Shhhh, sweetie no. Darren, baby, listen to me. You didn’t leave me at home, I stayed. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself for a month. God knows I miss you, but you’re almost done. And hey, when you get back to LA, we can sleep for a week.”

Darren had climbed into bed as Chris talked, dragging the laptop with him. Now he was snuggled into a pillow, eyes closed and breath evening out. Chris now had a blurry view of his chin and cheek, but that was just fine. “Can we…have lots of sex, too? Welcome home sex?”

Chris chuckled quietly. “Of course, dear. But only if you get some sleep now. You’re already sick as it is, and I am not having sex with an invalid.”

“S’okay, I’ll get better.”

A soft smile crossed Chris’s face as Darren finally let himself fall into sleep. Just before he disconnected the call, he whispered “Sweet dreams, love. I’ll see you at home.”

 


End file.
